i have really been wanting to write, but as you can imagine i'm a bit limited for time these days :)

so, abby is a week old today! our first week was a total blur - we spent most of it in the hospital. i was bedridden for the first two days - my legs were totally numb all day tuesday and that night and i had compressors on, and i think they were on until middle of day wednesday.  also i had a catheter, so i wasn't able to get up at all. howie was great though - the babies aren't put in a nursery at the hospital where i delivered, so she was in our room the whole time. he cleaned all the dirty diapers plus had to do everything for me (getting me water, etc) b/c i couldn't do it for myself.  the nurses were great too - it was pretty terrible to be in such a helpless position (people had to come and clean me off and change my pad those first few days!) it got better when my IV was out - i was still in pain and stuff, but at least i could move around freely and use the bathroom on my own.  we could have gone home on thursday but we decided to stick it out the night since my insurance would cover it, just to make sure we had everything together.  we went home on friday morning..

i think our biggest mistake the first week by far, was having people over. it did nothing but stress us out and take away the focus on the baby.  my family does NOT understand nursing or why it was taking so long, etc or the fact that we had to feed every 2 hours and it was just getting out of hand. people would be over for too long, not getting a hint when to go (my family) and we were missing feedings and it was super important that we kept to a schedule since abby had lost 10% of her body weight since birth and we needed for her to gain weight.


things have been better. breastfeeding is getting better - i'm still not making quite enough to satisfy her but i nurse and then pump so we are doing our best. we are supplementing with formula but i feel ok about that. i'd rather her be full & happy even if it means eating formula.  she does get mostly breastmilk so i think it's better than nothing.

we went to the pediatrician yesterday and abby's weight gain was twice what they expected, so we're good there! so relieved. :)   and i went to the dr for me today to get my staples out of my c-section. i can start driving in 2 weeks though my dr recommended not to if i didn't absolute have to. i can resume all normal activity at 6 weeks....which is hard for me b/c i hate being so helpless but i need to heal....

i have to say how wonderful howie is though. he is an amazing father, more than i could have EVER hoped for.  he has bonded so well to the baby and helps so much - he changes diapers and gives her tummy time, etc.  basically whatever we need outside of feeding. he feeds her the bottles sometimes if i'm doing something else.  i feel like crying when i think of him going back to work, though. i just don't know how i am going to do this on my own. :( esp with the pumping after each feeding. i need to ask if that is absolutely necessary or if it's ok if i just start pumping a few times a day instead.  not sure how that works.

so we'll see. i have a week more with him....maria can help too but i'd rather have howie.  LOL

so that's it for now!! hopefully i can update again soon. i miss writing!