*  i decided to formula feed. i hope no one thinks less of me for making this decision, i didn't make it very lightly.  i decided it was best for me & abby after i would spend entire days crying. i also just really did not like nursing - which surprised me. i would cringe everytime it was time to feed her. :(  we would nurse for an hour sometimes & then she would still be hungry and take an ounce or two of formula and it was just so much more enjoyable for me to feed her from a bottle, i felt like we got to bond more b/c she wasn't frustrated with getting food and i wasn't upset either.

i've been a lot happier since making my decision and life has been a lot smoother for all of us.  so i'm at peace w/ my decision.

* we had our week of no visitors which was the best thing we did.  we are starting to have people over again. my dad & stepmom came here yesterday for a few hours, and it was nice. i know people wanted to see abby really bad but we really needed that time to ourselves so i have no regrets.  we just needed to get into a routine and learn how to take care of a baby! things are mostly under control - the house doesn't look like a bomb went off (though it does need a thorough cleaning - howie straightens up but he doesn't clean). we also need groceries but i don't think i'm going to be able to grocery shop for a while. :(  i'm not even driving at this point

* that's another thing - recovering from a C section. ugh. :(   i just want to feel normal. i'm not really in pain anymore but i do get a little pain in my lower right side if i do too much. plus, my incision is still weeping. yesterday i bent over after my shower to put lotion on my legs & a bunch of dark yellow liquid spilled out of it!  apparently that can happen right up until six weeks.  i kind of hate that it is going to take me six weeks to feel back to normal and i only get 2 add'l weeks for maternity leave.  seems like BS to me. i mean, you had a major abdominal surgery and a newborn baby to take care of, so it's not like i can just lay around, you know?  at least i have an add'l 2 weeks of PTO so i can still have some time to enjoy. it sucks b/c i can't do any of the things i though i would at this point - we haven't gone on any walks, etc.  it'll be 2 PP as of tuesday so i guess i should just have more patience.

* abby sleeps so much.  ped said it's normal but it still seems worrying.  we don't have to wake her up for feedings anymore, though. she is pretty good about waking herself up right on time (every 3 hours at this point) and we generally feed her 3oz or so.   she stays awake sometimes and we give her the tummy time (which she tolerates really well!) but then it's back to beddie bye.  i have been worried about her getting a flat head b/c she sleeps so much. :(  we hold her, of course, but we can't be holding her 24 hours a day....she spends a lot of time in the rock & play sleeper in the living room. she goes into her crib at night.

* she tolerates tummy time really well! she is so good at lifting her head already. she lifts her head up off our sholders when we have her upright when burping her, she was doing that in the hospital even.  she can turn her head from side to side when on her tummy too.  she is not really scooting anywhere on her blanket yet but she can definitely move her head, so that's pretty cool to see.  she is a restless sleeper too. she throws up her arms up over her head and wiggles around and makes all sorts of noises.  we swaddle her at night with a sleepsack swaddle so she doesn't startle herself awake. she doesn't seem to wake herself up in the rock & play sleeper but it's a smaller space than her crib...in the crib she gets on her side & then she wakes up.   i'm glad that i ended up having a sleep sack in the stuff that was donated to me by my coworkers b/c we didn't buy one ahead of time. we only have one b/c i couldn't see paying $20 for another one in NB size. i do have one for 13-18 pounds but it's like enormous and super long so we aren't using that on her yet.  she is still in NB size clothes & diapers.  not sure how much she weighs....we go to the dr tomorrow for another weight check. :)